| What is Sexual Orgasm? | |
The pleasurable release felt after building up of sexual tension is called orgasm. When sexual arousal progresses into an ultimate pleasure, the person is said to have experienced Sexual Orgasm or Climax.
Most men experience it while masturbating as well as when they ejaculate. However, the real orgasm for men is experienced when it is coupled with sexual intercourse.
Unlike men, women may or may not get Orgasm even from sexual intercourse.
Although orgasm is the highest pleasure point for both the sexual partners, it is not necessary that it will be a part of every sexual act.
In married life, couples focus mostly on giving and sharing sexual pleasures rather than focusing on Orgasm.
Orgasm is an intensely pleasurable sexual feeling during which the body experiences series of muscular contractions reaching its peak before the release of tension and return to a relaxed state.
The vocal expression of orgasm may differ from person to person because it is an extremely personal feeling and may even differ from one sexual contact to another.
The experience of orgasm greatly depends on mood, ambiance as well as degree of willingness of a person to have sex.
The same act may be dull and boring if one or both partners are tired or stressed.
The intensity of pleasure can be increased by degree of intimacy with the person, loving nature or type of foreplay enjoyed by individual partner.
Although orgasm originates from genitals it spreads all over the body and is synchronized and coordinated by brain.
Person who gets pleasure of Orgasm generally enjoys happier family life because of the release of sex hormones and an energizing hormone called endorphin.
| | | Orgasm in Women | |
When the woman reaches her peak of arousal, any further stimulation of her clitoris by finger or mouth, with or without stimulation from vagina during intercourse can lead to Orgasm.
Most women experience this pleasurable sensation originating from the genitals and passing all over and through the body like rippling waves.
As a woman reaches orgasm, her vagina and pubic muscles start contracting in rhythmic manner followed by arching of entire body in series of spasms.
She may express this pleasure in a milder form by a contented gesture or in a louder way by crying out or even screaming, depending on the intensity of the pleasure and comforts of the surroundings.
Once the spasms subside, unlike men, she will return to normal gradually.
Once woman is through this extreme pleasure, she will cuddle in the warmth of her husband as if enjoying eternal peace.
Woman needs extreme privacy and relaxed state of mind to enjoy Orgasm.
Most women miss this pleasure totally because they are totally ignorant about the mechanism of stimulating clitoris. Some women do not know that this special organ called clitoris is specially gifted to them by nature to enjoy ultimate sexual pleasure.
Women getting Orgasm during sexual act with their husband are happier and stress-free in personal life and more tolerant to their husband outside bedroom.
Seeing wife in these moments of ecstasy is the greatest treat for husband in sexual relationship.
> | | | Orgasm in Men | |
When the man is aroused his penis gets erected and becomes like a hard shaft.
During masturbation he gets further stimulated by holding the penis in his hand and moving the hand over it till he gets Orgasm.
Orgasm in men happens when extremely pleasurable feeling centred at his genital are coupled with contraction of pelvic and body muscles creating waves of electrifying sensation throughout the body.
It is at this moment the semen gets ejaculated in three to four spurts due to the force exerted by muscle contractions in pelvic region.
The Orgasm is more intense during sexual intercourse when he is in contact with the woman's body flesh.
In most cases, man experiences Orgasm while he is about to ejaculate semen.
During the orgasm he may make a encouraging sound signalling his partner to come closer and make faster movements to push his penis even deeper in her vagina and prepare her for receiving the ejaculated semen.
Man may experience ejaculation sometimes even without Orgasm, which may become more common in fifties or later.
After orgasm, the body enters a phase of resolution, when the body returns to relaxed position.
The throbbing of heart and increased breathing rate experienced by both the lovers gradually settles down to normal.
A man’s penis becomes flaccid, and he may feel suddenly flushed out, completely relaxed as a result of greatest pleasure and feel very sleepy.
Man needs some time before he is ready for another erection even if he is making active efforts to get it. Sometimes he may manage to get the erection, but it will not be hard enough to have sexual intercourse.
This period between the two erections, called Refractory Period may last from few minutes in twenties to few days for a man in fifties.
Women do not have such Refractory Period.
For women, the period of resolution is longer and occurs gradually unlike quick and immediate one for men.
Woman’s genitals require at least up to 30 minutes to return to normal pre-orgasmic state.
Woman can enjoy continued physical intimacy during this stage, and man can clearly see the “glow of satisfaction” on her face following orgasm.
| | | Differences in Male and Female Orgasm | |
Unlike men, women are multi orgasmic; that is capable of having several Orgasms, one after another in the same sexual act.
They can remain in the state of arousal, for a longer time and can be stimulated repeatedly to enjoy Orgasms.
Men get only one type of orgasm from penis while women get distinctly different types of Orgasms.
Woman can get different types of pleasure depending on the way their clitoris is stimulated; whether directly, indirectly, by hand, orally or by body pressure during intercourse.
The intensity could be at the peak of pleasure or almost touching a point where it could be excruciatingly painful.
While men almost always experience orgasm during sex, but woman may or may not have Orgasm through sexual intercourse. They may expect their partner to continue stimulation after the sexual intercourse to get desired Orgasm.
Men, learn the process of arousal, ejaculation and about pleasure of Orgasm rather naturally. On the other hand, most women realize about Orgasmic pleasure only when they actually experience it, either through self-pleasuring; or during sexual stimulation with their partner.
Many women who are potentially orgasmic, never actually experience it. They fail to get Orgasm even through sexual act during their married life.
This may be because of their orthodox cultural background or because in some societies they are not encouraged to be explicitly sexual. It may also be caused by other factors related to their relationship with spouse or lack of right kind of stimulation.
Women who learn to explore their sexuality through self pleasuring are familiar with mechanism of Orgasm. They can guide their partner to get the orgasm or help themselves during or after the sexual intercourse. | | | Resolution after Orgasm | |
After orgasm, the body enters a phase of resolution, when the body returns to relaxed position.
The throbbing of heart and increased breathing rate experienced by both the lovers gradually settles down to normal.
A man’s penis becomes flaccid, and he may feel suddenly flushed out, completely relaxed as a result of greatest pleasure and feel very sleepy.
Man needs some time before he is ready for another erection even if he is making active efforts to get it. Sometimes he may manage to get the erection, but it will not be hard enough to have sexual intercourse.
This period between the two erections, called Refractory Period may last from few minutes in twenties to few days for a man in fifties.
Women do not have such Refractory Period.
For women, the period of resolution is longer and occurs gradually unlike quick and immediate one for men.
Woman’s genitals require at least up to 30 minutes to return to normal pre-orgasmic state.
Woman can enjoy continued physical intimacy during this stage, and man can clearly see the “glow of satisfaction” on her face following orgasm. | | | Simultaneous Orgasms | |
With more awareness of sexuality among the women, lot of emphasis is made on reaching simultaneous Orgasm.
Since man has lesser control over ejaculation at least till he gets comfortable with the partner, mutual Orgasm is less likely to happen
When new to sex, men get aroused very fast and unless they train themselves, cannot resist their urgency for intercourse and ejaculation.
Couples who become comfortably tuned to each other’s body and learn to spend time for ‘turning on’ their partner can make efforts to reach a climax simultaneously.
Most often it is easier to let the women experience the orgasm and the man can follow or the woman can signal him about her "coming" so he can try to ejaculate almost together with her peak. If the man reaches his peak and ejaculates before her, it will be difficult to make her get an Orgasm at least not through intercourse.
In loving relationship, focus should be more on sexual togetherness and pleasure from the act and rarely on getting simultaneous Orgasm.
Else, one of the partners, especially woman, may be tempted to fake the Orgasm to please the partner or to hide his failure in performance.
| | | Failure to get Orgasm | |
How one can give pleasure of Orgasms to his partner is couple’s intimate personal issue.
While man gets pleasure of Orgasm almost every time he has sexual intercourse, women may or may not get this pleasure simultaneously.
This is more common if the man ejaculated faster and ends the episode even without sufficient arousal in woman.
Women unaware of need of arousal in lubrication and lengthening of vaginal canal, suffer most. In place of pleasure, they get pain from the intercourse.
Even in cases where woman is fully aroused she needs special attention of her husband for getting Orgasmic pleasure. Loving man must know that he can even help her in enjoying multiple Orgasms to make her sexually satisfied.
Although woman can pleasure herself and enjoy Orgasms, she prefers husband’s involvement in this great pleasure. Men who understand this also know the greatest pleasure he can get in sexual life is by seeing his wife in ecstasy.
Men who get tired after finishing their intercourse and go to sleep cause most resentments if woman has not even started getting the Orgasm.
Worst is the agony of women who are ignorant of such pleasure and how they can get it.
Most women learn about this pleasure during sexual act with husband.
But if they fail to learn about Orgasm or never actually experience it, they are likely to be indifferent to sex. Most men interpret this as lack of sexual desire and get upset or pressurize their partner for sex.
To make the thing worse, wife would interpret such coercing for sex without developing love and intimacy as lust.
Repeated chain of coercing and denials results into sexual frustration for both and disturbed life even outside bedroom.
More than 70 % of the disturbed marriages can be improved if men as well as woman learn about each other’s sexuality, sexual preferences and sexual pleasures.
| | | Faking Orgasm | |
Although few men can fake Orgasm, the need for faking Orgasm is felt more by women. This is because unlike men, the mechanism of pleasure from intercourse and that of Orgasm are different in women
Some women do not get the Orgasm even after getting sufficient arousal and intimate pleasure of sex.
20 to 40 % of them fake the act of Orgasmic pleasure by convulsing their body with spasm like contraction sometimes even with vocal expression to please their partner. This kind of expression learned from sexually explicit movies is highly stimulating to their partner.
While this helps their husband to fully enjoy his sexual act, they both suffer in the long run if it becomes a regular event.
Faking orgasm can have serious repercussions
Husband will feel hurt if he finds out the truth. In married life there is no place for faking sexual pleasure.
Woman will deprive herself from making sincere attempts to get Orgasm and also of mutually satisfying sex
If the truth is not revealed to partner, she will also deprive herself of any effort from him to help her in getting an Orgasm.
As a result, both will be deprived of sharing the real pleasures.
Habit of faking Orgasm may develop indifference towards sex.
Focus will be more on performing the sex than giving or taking pleasure from sex.
The only way to find a solution is by learning about the sexuality and sexual responses of themselves and their partner.
Couple must also develop the language for sexual communication, to express, discuss and resolve sex related issues between them.
| | | Female Nocturnal Orgasm | |
Various researches on women sexuality, since 1953, have come to a fair conclusion that many women experience orgasm in sleep as a result of sexual arousal.
Some girls or women, who have never experienced nocturnal orgasm or do not know whether they had any orgasm in sleep, need not worry. It cannot be proved whether women got up due to orgasm or just by a stirringly sexy dream.
In contrast to men, women do not have evidence of any ejaculation, and wetness of their vaginal area could simply be sign of sexual arousal even without experiencing orgasm.
| | | Learning about Orgasm | |
Problem of getting orgasm is most common amongst women who are unaware of what is orgasm. Hence, they are more likely to be unaware of how to get it.
Exploring own sexuality through ‘Self Pleasuring’ is the best way to understand this greatest sexual pleasure of woman.
1. Set aside some time all for yourself and lock yourself in the bedroom or in a pleasant private environment.
2. Find any erotic stimulus like book, movie, photograph, or even a loving
memory to help you in getting sexually aroused.
3. Undress partly or fully as you wish and touch any part of your body
sensually.
4. Let the pleasurable sensation linger over your body.
5. Slowly move your hand over your genitals, feel the moisture around the vaginal area as you get aroused.
6. Touch the area around the clitoris, and feel the pleasure.
7. Continue patting or mild rubbing over the clitoris as the excitement
increases.
8. Be gentle and feel yourself in loving mood. Avoid vigorous rubbing, because it may cause irritation and discourage you from going any further.
9. Experiment with different touches, in different positions, in different areas
of your body with different fantasies without any inhibition or restrictions.
10. While touching around vagina, try inserting your finger inside it if you feel comfortable.
11. You may caress yourself with one hand while stimulating clitoris and vaginal
area with another hand.
12. When you reach peak of your pleasurable moment, you will feel your body getting muscle contraction along with electrifying sensation arising from your genital region and passing through your entire body.
13. This delightful sexual pleasure is Orgasm.
14. If you feel loss of pleasurable sensation, wait for a while before you start stimulating yourself again with fresh thinking.
15. Change the area for stimulation or the way you touch or fondle your genital region to avoid monotony or desensitization of area due to irritation.
16. Continue stimulating yourself and experience the orgasm till you feel you enjoy it and wish to do it again sometime later.
17. Sometimes you will have good feeling but not the real orgasm, the ecstasy of sexual pleasure. It may take some time before your body learns this feeling.
18. Don’t give up. Every woman deserves to explore it and earn it.
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